01 March - My Sup Fly Me Kite (Day 42)

I had nothing to do in the morning for my work. I have analysed all the results yesterday and will have to wait for my sup to come and look through them. So I spent the morning surfing the net, finding out about CAF. I chatted quite a lot with Zicai and ws also over msn. Me and ws were chatting about the fantasy premier league game and that freaking Gary has taken the lead to become the leader of the table. Poor MC after being leader for 28 games had to step down. And then we were talking about how Gerrard loves Chelsea because of that own goal. And with 10 games left only for the season, I really have to buck up. Somehow we never talked about my life here. Almost everyone would ask about my life here and some of them would think that I am having great fun here from the pictures that I sent out. Those pics were meant to tell my friends that I am still alive and kicking here in France, and to let them see that I am not in any kind of suffrage. But at the same time, I wanted some sympathy from them, some comforting words to make me feel better here. But I am also tired of telling them how lonely it is here, how expensive it is to live here, how inconvenient it is, etc. I wanted to pour my woes at them but I also don’t want them to feel too miserable for me, very contradicting. And sometimes it is kind of awkward when a few of them don’t really understand how bad it is here and gave cliché comforting words. Ws said nothing about all these and talked to me in a normal tone. I think he understands how I feel and knew exactly what to say to me. After all, we had known each other for more than 10 yrs.

I went for lunch alone at 1215pm because I was too hungry and wasn’t sure if the guys were eating. Sometimes they would just take sandwiches or go back home to eat. I was quite surprised to see them already at the table while I was queuing up for food. First thought is: Oh gosh, I have been ostracized! But sometimes they would come and “jio” me for lunch too. I shouldn’t have doubted that these are nice friendly people since they helped me a lot in work, doing experiments, giving advice for tour, asking me for soccer, lending me anime, etc. But I can’t help to think if these acts were out of sincerity or just a superficial courtesy. I really can’t tell what they might be thinking about me, talking about me, etc. It is the same how I treat other people. For some people I just find that our frequencies are way too different but I still smile and treat them warmly. But in actual fact, I don’t enjoy their company at all. As I pondered upon this issue, I realized they have finished their food and left. Have I been thinking too much I wonder? Even though my sup said that I can come and go anytime I wish for work, I don’t want to take his words for granted because he might be testing me. I am really unsure, especially the culture, the language, in fact everything here is so different and I have been here for less than 2 months. During lunch, there was a group of girls singing Happy Birthday song in French. Apparently there was a birthday girl. I wonder how would I celebrate my bday here? Not that I celebrate back in Singapore, but just wonder how I would feel on that day. Anyway, it would in June and I would be thinking about my tour and so don’t think it would that bad.

After lunch, I surf a bit of net and went to find Anatole, who had just arrived. He said he would meet me at 3pm for a discussion. So for the whole afternoon, I was surfing the net and checked my bank account. Yes my allowance for this month has been credited and feels real good to see the figures increased. Then I went on to find out more about the tourist attractions here and I stumbled upon this place. It is a forest southwest of Rennes and it is the magical forest where Merlin and King Arthur once dwelled in. I heard about this before from Anatole but didn’t know exactly where it is. Looking at some of the pictures taken, it really looked like those woods which I seen in movie. And because Merlin is druid and Arthur’s half-sister a magician, it is said that the forest has mystical power. It was also mentioned that groups of witches would practice some rituals there at certain times of the year. It really sounds adventurous and when knights are involved, I would always be interested. But it seems to be quite inaccessible as it is too near to Rennes and no train goes there. However, it is too far to go by foot also. Normally people would go there by car. At 3pm, Anatole still had not appeared which is not surprising and so I continued to surf the net. I also chatted with hui about a story which I plan to write. The setting would be like the Lord of the Rings and the plot like those HK thief and police movies, for e.g. Wu Jian Dao and An Zhan. As for the war scene, it would be similar to San Guo Yan Yi with strategies and tactics. I wasn’t sure if I could finish writing the story. Hui said that I didn’t finish off a lot of things which I started also.

At 5pm, there was still no news from Anatole and I thought I shouldn’t waste time in the office. So I checked out on how to do a webpage using html. Yes, although I am a computer engineering undergrad, I have never really done a webpage, and should have my own homepage by now. Although some of the school assignments and projects required some sort of web designing, but somehow I haven’t really coded from scratch my own webpage. It is quite embarrassing because even primary school kids can make their own webpage with the help of software of course. Then I felt that I needed more time to come out with the design and layout and so decided to do tomorrow after I have drawn out on paper.

When it was close to 6pm, I moved on and start reading about OpenGL because I need to know how to do graphics using C++. This is for my personal interest again because I wanted to write a simple game using C++. The handphone game that is. Those who sit together with me during lectures would know that game. The setting of the game would be in a lecture theatre with students inside (represented by circles). When a handphone rings (flashing of a circle), the player has to shoot that circle as fast as possible (using the mouse). A score will be updated. This is to please myself because I cannot tolerate handphone ringing in lecture theatres because I find it really rude and really feel like sniping them with a rifle. I mean, it is just a simple gesture to switch the phone to silent mode and yet people couldn’t do that and it can show how inconsiderate some people are. I am sorry if I sounded too harsh and offensive but that is just how I feel. So for those friends who are reading this part and are guilty of the above-mentioned crime, no hard feelings from me and apart from this small flaw of yours, you are still perfect.

At 630pm when I was about to leave, Anatole stepped in and said he was sorry. He said that it seemed like we were supposed to meet at 3pm and now it is 630pm. Three and a half hour, what a good performance he said. Before we discussed on our work, I asked him about some personal matters first and some questions from my tutor. My tutor wanted to know if there would be anyone taking over him to assess me while he was away for a month. Anatole said if that is required, he would make arrangement with Stephen since he is the project leader now. With that settled, I wanted to show him the results but he said he had no time as it was close to 7pm. He said he would do that tomorrow morning at 10am with me. Wah Lau!!! He should have told me earlier when he came in so I wouldn’t waste time talking to him about some things outside work. I thought since it was the end of the day, he would have plenty of time. And tomorrow at 10am! I actually planned to go to town and asked about CAF tomorrow morning since my sup is always here after lunch. Even if that is not the case, I only start work at 10am normally. But he just handed me a small arrow to be discussed at 10am. That means I have to be in office at 9am in order to settle that task. He really put me aeroplane, fly me kite, and I felt diu dua.

But at least he promised to bring his Green Book a tour guide for Bretagne tomorrow. He said it was in French but I should be able to find an English version in the store. I wanted to borrow from him actually but seemed like he needed it for his own use. His brother just borrowed from him last week and maybe there are other friends waiting. I would see if it is worth buying or not and have to check out the price. This kind of guide is not cheap. I should have bought one in Singapore but I was looking for a guide for Rennes. Really stupid because back then, I didn’t realized how small Rennes is and didn’t thought I would travel around Bretagne.

Back in INSA there is a notice that says exchange for bedsheet on Thurs between 130pm to 330pm. Think I would still stick to exchanging once a month since I would be in office at that time. But maybe I would just go back during lunchtime. For dinner today, I had pasta with sardine and the fish really got a strong fish smell. But I like “yu xin wei” so that is ok with me. And I realize that the kitchen is not being utilized frequently because most of the students eat at the student restaurant. Well I guess only poor people like me would have to cook.

PS: I have changed the number of days left from 120 to 108 because I have set the end date to 18th June instead of 30th June. It feels better to see the number much smaller now.