13 May Cong Yu (Day 115)

This is the first time I have 2 entries for the same day for my blog. Because this day, Friday 13 May 2005, could be a turning point in my life. And I dedicate this entire entry to a Chinese friend called Cong Yu. I can say he has enlightened me, or more exaggeratingly, the saviour of my spiritual being. Not religiously but culturally. When I met him for my exp, I asked if he is born in France and his reaction was rather big. He said he is pure Chinese from China. After the exp, which was about 9pm, he asked if he could come to my room and chat. Of course I welcomed him. That was when I felt I had made one of the wisest choices in my life.

Our meeting can only and best be described by the Chinese phrase “ping sui xiang feng” or simply “ping ju”. “ping” is the “fu ping”, the floating plants on the pond. “ju” means meet. Hence we were like 2 floating plants meeting somewhere in the centre of the pond due to the ripples of the water. But after touching briefly, we would part and maybe some other time we might meet again. That night, we chatted for 4 hours until 1am. 4 hrs! I had never chatted that long before with a Chinese. In fact, not even with my friends in SG either. So what did we talk about in that 4 hrs?
The first part was about our experiences in France. He is in his first year in INSA and has 4 more years to go. He was from Shandong University and his uni allowed him to get his degree here in France. Once he returns, Shandong Uni would issue him another Shandong degree. Hence, he would have 2 degrees. Furthermore, education in France is free; even for foreigners. Although he can speak French quite well, he still feels strong sense of being ostracised by his classmates. Here are some examples he quoted:

1. During a lab session, the workbench was shaking badly and one French student asked, “Why is the bench shaking?” Another French student answered, “Because the bench is made in China.” Followed by roar of laughter. All these done in the presence of CY.

2. During another lab session, CY couldn’t read the instruction manual as fast as his French counterparts. As such, he was much slower in doing the exp. His French partner was quite impatient and did all the exp himself. He just passed the data to CY and asked him to plot the graph. While plotting, CY found some mistakes in the data and corrected him. The French just said, “It’s like this. Draw the graph if you want. If not leave it.” That French had a “whatever” kind of indifferent tone. At the end of the exp, CY asked the French what the exp was about and the reply was: It is like that.

3. Also in the lab, the data of a French was wrong again. CY told him about it but he didn’t bother. Another French girl came and told him about the wrong data and he immediately redid the exp.

I am not sure if the above 3 scenarios happened on the same fucker. But there are more examples below:

1. That afternoon they had a cultural lesson and the topic was about a Chinese student poaching confidential documents in a France company while she was here on attachment. Her name was Lili. So the teacher printed the article and distributed to everyone. Title of the article: Lili. Small Industrial Rat. The entire article was about Chinese students coming here to study but had ulterior motives. They are here to steal the French technologies, to be spies, to “zhan ta men de guang” (take their brightness), etc. The teacher said that the French should have some anti-spy agency to check on the Chinese students here. That teacher was the in-charge of the Foreign Student Department. CY felt really awkward throughout the lesson.

2. Another cultural lesson. The teacher said that the French govt should impose 300% of tax on Chinese imports because the Chinese gained a hefty 800 millions during one financial year from their manufactured products. The cheap labour and low production cost in China caused the unemployment rate in France to rise. CY was really angry about this. He said he has figures that say that the French benefited more from China. There was a new railway linking Shanghai and Beijing and a French coy was the developer. That project alone generated 15 billions for the French. And China bought 3 airbuses from France in the same year. Why didn’t the teacher bring up this?

3. CY has been reading all sorts of magazines here in France and the reports on the negative points of China are more than the positive. The only exception was Newsweek which is more objective, probably because it is an American mag.

Although he did mention that he met some kind-hearted French here (mainly those above middle-age), generally he felt the presence of prejudice. He was really feeling depress and said,” wo zhen de hen bu kai xin” (I am really not happy). Generally, I agree with him that the students do form cliques which are as strong as nuclei. If you are not the same kind, you will be repelled. That’s just generally. I have little contact with the students here because I sense that they are not interested in talking to me. Hence, I don’t mix with them. I told CY that it is not the case at all in IRISA. My colleagues and I have very good relationships. The reason he felt the people here are cold is that he is still in year one. His classmates are all 18 or 19 years old who think only about party, fun, and things that do not interest them, they wouldn’t be bothered. Anatole said roughly the same thing when I told him I find it hard to mix with my neighbours. I met some students in INSA who are really nice. But they are either in their final years or doing their masters. These students are more receptive of Asians and have more mature thinking. I told CY that as he moves on to 3rd and 4th year, he would feel less and less of such ostracise. That’s all I can comfort him.

Seriously speaking, I can’t blame the French youth because it is the same for SG youths. When we were young, we wouldn’t give a damn about other foreigners. We were just satisfied with being in our own puny circles. However, after 4 months of stay here, I feel that the French are not very ready to accept foreigners. We also talked about Chinese politics, the dark side of it like Tiananmen Event. He was very open when criticising the govt in his country. That doesn’t mean he dislike his country. In fact, he likes it so much that he feels that the political system must change in China. However, we didn’t indulge too in depth in this topic because he sensed that I wasn’t interested.

The next topic was on Chinese Literature. Before that, CY said that he found my Chinese language was as good as any other Chinese from China. He said while talking to me, he never treated me as someone who speaks Chinese as a second language. In fact, some of his Chinese friends who went to US to study and came back to China couldn’t speak as well as I can. Although he can tell I am a bit slow in speaking Chinese, but he said that it is commendable that I tried to speak in complete Chinese and I knew quite a lot of Chinese words. He said he didn’t have to slow down while talking to me or choose simpler words. This was a great compliment to me. I was super delighted that my Chinese language was being recognised. The humiliation previously by another Chinese guy had hurt my pride quite a bit last time.

CY saw that I brought along “san guo yan yi” and he said I must be very interested in Chinese Lit. Who would bring a classical Chinese novel from SG to France if he is not interested in Lit? However, he said I should try to read “Hong Lou Meng” instead because that novel is the peak of Chinese lit. The words used are so remarkable that there is a study for this book particularly called “Hong Xue”. He then gave me lots of examples on the lines in Hong Lou Meng which are very beautiful. He then moved on to discuss poems and verses with me and explained to me the marvel of each of them. I have learnt some of these poems when I was doing C.Lit last time but had long forgotten them. For the remaining 2 hrs, we were discussing literature. Nothing but poems and verses. He did most of the talking of course because my level was too low. CY studied literature when he was in high school. He actually wanted to go into humanities and be a teacher. He knew he couldn’t be someone great given his limited capability. All he wants is to be a school teacher, teach a few pri. school kids and let the children gain some knowledge. If he can do that, he would be satisfied. However, even though his languages and lit. were strong, his maths was poor and as such, after calculating his overall marks, he couldn’t get into humanities school and was dumped into mechanical engineering.

Although I mentioned that he speaks English with some British accent, his English language was quite poor because the French language has replaced it. I told him that I like Chinese Lit. and reading such novels for past time only. In fact, I almost wanted to stop and give up on Chinese because of lack of time and the opportunity to use Chinese in SG. I am really being drawn more and more toward Western cultures. He said it would be a waste if I think that way because I already have a good foundation of Chinese. Why should I throw away this key to the Chinese culture? Even if I speak English everyday, even if no friends in SG would discuss Chinese Lit with me, being a Chinese, I should know about my roots and culture. Although CY is very pro-China, he wasn’t trying to convince me to change my nationality to Chinese. In fact, he said something that really served as a wake up call for me.

He said that my cultural structure is the most perfect. Being a SG, I am at the meeting point of Western and Eastern cultures. For him, he said he can never appreciate Western culture given his pro-Chinese mindset. But for me it is different. I have been exposed to much English and am more ready to accept the Western culture. Moreover, my Chinese is strong enough for me to explore Chinese culture too. Frankly speaking, the reason why I have thought of giving up Chinese is because I can’t find friends who share the same interest as me. I feel that if I try to speak perfect Chinese or use some idioms or proverbs, my friends would dislike it. They think I am very Cheena and traditional instead of being impressed by me. They would reply, “paiseh hor, my Chinese not so good. Don’t say all these things which I don’t understand.” Or “Wah, very chim leh. Say simple can?” I have not met a friend whom after I have said some “chim” Chinese words, would be impressed and asked me about the explanation. No one seems to care about Chinese anymore. I am not saying my Chinese language is very good. I am just very interested in Chinese history and literature. In fact, the entire Chinese culture. But I dare not practise much in SG because it wouldn’t be appreciated. Worse. I got the feeling that speaking very good Chinese means my English is poor.

After 4 hrs, of chatting, I gained 2 new prospective. First, I will not look down on China people anymore. I used to call them “ah tiong” and felt that they are backward and very “lao tu”. But after meeting such refined and cultured person like CY, I felt ashamed of myself. Second, I am going to pick up my Chinese again when I get back to SG. Luckily, I still have those C. Lit textbooks around. I have thrown all my sec. school textbooks except for C. Lit. I guess, I don’t want to give it up also. I am just uncertain if I should dedicate substantial amount of effort in C.Lit. But CY has changed my mind. He said I have the interest in ancient civilisation of the West, the European histories, Greek mythologies, etc. But that is just one part of the world. What about the East. Moreover, I am a Chinese. It makes no sense if I know a lot about the Western world but nothing about the East. And it is not as if I have to learn the Chinese language like other Ang moh who are interested in the Oriental culture. He told me not to care about how other see me when I use Chinese. Even if learning Chinese culture couldn’t help me in a practical way (like doing business in China), at least I would be a happier person. Spiritually, I would be full. He said although he has quite a number of friends in SG and he knows a lot about SG through them and also through his father, I am the first SG he has met. And this meeting is the most ideal one he has anticipated. He told me I have given him a very good impression of SG.

I am very grateful that he spent so much time enlightening me. He said it is nothing because he is also happy that he has convinced me not to give up Chinese. He said he wouldn’t be bothered if he knew I wasn’t interested in the first place. If you think this CY is older than me, then you are wrong. He is only 20 years old. And if every 20 years old in China thinks like he does, China’s future is scarily bright. How many SG youth can talk like CY? How many of us can be considered cultured people? After CY had left at 1am, his words still lingered in my head. I could only start falling asleep after 2am and perhaps his words were still in my dream.