I woke up at 9am today, half an hour later than on normal days because I was feeling feverish last night. Must be the packet soup. I reached the office around 1020am and found that I couldn’t log in to my PC. So was Jeremy. The network was down! What a good morning to start CNY eve, I thought. Jeremy asked if I would like to go to cafeteria with him but I declined because I just had breakfast. Maybe I should join him next time. So I spent the entire morning reading those papers again. Jeremy returned half an hour later but the network was still bad. So he went to other place to work for he got a deadline to meet. At noon, I decided to try once more to log in. If it continued like this, I would just go back hostel. (Neighbour singing again! “Say you say me…”) Anyway, I was supposed to have a holiday. But the network was back again.
As Jeremy was not around, I went to lunch alone. For the entire day today, my mind was all about CNY, CNY, CNY. Never have I felt so strongly for this festival. When I was in NS, I gana guard duty on 1st Day of CNY once but felt quite alright spending the New Year in the guardroom with my assistant. Well, we had pineapple tarts, Bah Guah, and television showing Jackie Chan movie then. Here, I had nothing. In the restaurant, I saw the Chinese lady that I mentioned before clearing the dishes. Yes! I could ask her if she has any plans for today! But she might be a FBC (France-Born-Chinese). Unlike ABCs, the FBCs here speak French and no Chinese. I think it was because their ancestors’ roots here are deeper. Anyway, before I could ask her, she saw some French guys and greeted them. Then she just stopped clearing the dishes and chit chatted with them until I left. I guessed she must be more Frenchy than Cheena. Feeling disappointed, I turned and tried to memorise the poem on the wall. Here is the continuation of where I stopped last time.
“Les mots s’equilibrents, Leur rencontre des colore.
Comme s’ils avaient plaisir, A se trouver ensemble…”
“These words balanced their meeting of colors, as they have pleasures finding themselves together…” Well, my French really sucks so this is all I could gather. And thinking of poem, I thought of a line from a Chinese poem that I learnt when I studied Chinese Lit in RV. “Mei Feng Jia Jie Bei Si Qing”, meaning: “Come every festival; miss your loved ones the more”. I always enjoyed CNY, the food, the gathering, the TV, etc. Well, I don’t quite like going to my paternal relatives’ house to “Bai Nian”. I prefer my maternal side because I am closer to them. But now, I just wish anyone of them is here. I promise next year, I would eat double the food and be doubly happy going to Bai Nian, be it paternal or maternal side.
Back in the office, although my heart wasn’t at work, I still managed to solve the bug to my code. And then I chatted a lot on MSN with friends. XF was especially nice as she spoke to me again today. And normally, at this time of the day (Singapore time would be at night after reunion dinner), people would not be online. And I have got news from another friend that he got a gf but I was supposed to keep that a secret so I won’t disclose too much detail here. Many people told me that when I returned to Singapore, I would be an improved and better person because of all the experiences I am having now. I thought so too but I wondered would anyone notice the difference? I don’t really think anyone would understand my feeling of walking on the street alone in a foreign country, except for those who had gone through it themselves. And I don’t think my friends would know how it feels to be confined in a tiny room with no internet connection. Maybe by experiencing what normal people couldn’t experience would make me special.
At around 430pm, I really couldn’t take it anymore and said “au revoir” to Jeremy and left the office. The more I chatted with my friends online, the more I missed them. So I went back to hostel and called home at 5pm (Singapore time 12 midnight). As the Singtel operator was connecting the line, a sentimental song would be played in the background. Dad picked up the phone and I wished him a Happy New Year. We spoke a bit, mainly about my work here. Then mum took over and I wished her too. It was really good to hear CNY songs in the background through the phone. She saw those pictures that I put online and said that my room was really small. I remembered her saying to me before I come to France that she dislikes the idea of me missing CNY. Especially when this year is the Year of the Rooster, which is my year. I joked and said that France’s mascot is the cockerel so quite the same. Not funny, I thought now. Anyway, I told her I would go into town later at night to see if there is anything going on. She didn’t like the idea because she thought it was unsafe. I told her not to worry as this is the safest city in France.
At around 7pm, I took the bus into the city centre. Before I left, I marked on my map a place of interest I would visit later just in case there weren’t any celebrations. My guess was there won’t be any as Rennes is unlike Paris, where there are Chinese strongholds in certain part of the city. When I reached there, sure enough there weren’t any events. Moreover, there weren’t many people. I just walked around the place and the more I walked, the sadder I felt. Most shops were closed by then. People were scarce. Streets were dimly lit. It was almost dark at certain part of the city centre. And in some alleys, where there were just a few people, I could hear echoes as they spoke. I thought of finding some Chinese restaurants but they were closed. Of course they are. I didn’t go to that place of interest which I marked out because it was really hard to find my way in the dark. Soon, my legs were tired, my eyes were tired, and so was my heart. I quickly made my way back to the bus stop before loneliness devoured my soul. I boarded the bus and it was 8pm. I was only out for an hour. If the city centre of Rennes was quiet in the day, it was deserted at night. My brother said my city looked dead. XF said it looked peaceful. I said it looked peacefully dead.
Back in my room, I lied on my bed for quite awhile trying to settle down my sentiments. I told myself in the mirror that I thought we had gone through this before. No more self-depression ever since I almost broke down on Day 3. So I played some music and did some exercises. Now I am feeling much better and tomorrow would be even better and so would be the days after that. Yes definitely it would be better. Even now the weather is getting better. 12 degrees today which is a record high. And no clouds and rain and wind. Just the sun. Yes when I see the sun tomorrow again, I would be happy again.
As Jeremy was not around, I went to lunch alone. For the entire day today, my mind was all about CNY, CNY, CNY. Never have I felt so strongly for this festival. When I was in NS, I gana guard duty on 1st Day of CNY once but felt quite alright spending the New Year in the guardroom with my assistant. Well, we had pineapple tarts, Bah Guah, and television showing Jackie Chan movie then. Here, I had nothing. In the restaurant, I saw the Chinese lady that I mentioned before clearing the dishes. Yes! I could ask her if she has any plans for today! But she might be a FBC (France-Born-Chinese). Unlike ABCs, the FBCs here speak French and no Chinese. I think it was because their ancestors’ roots here are deeper. Anyway, before I could ask her, she saw some French guys and greeted them. Then she just stopped clearing the dishes and chit chatted with them until I left. I guessed she must be more Frenchy than Cheena. Feeling disappointed, I turned and tried to memorise the poem on the wall. Here is the continuation of where I stopped last time.
“Les mots s’equilibrents, Leur rencontre des colore.
Comme s’ils avaient plaisir, A se trouver ensemble…”
“These words balanced their meeting of colors, as they have pleasures finding themselves together…” Well, my French really sucks so this is all I could gather. And thinking of poem, I thought of a line from a Chinese poem that I learnt when I studied Chinese Lit in RV. “Mei Feng Jia Jie Bei Si Qing”, meaning: “Come every festival; miss your loved ones the more”. I always enjoyed CNY, the food, the gathering, the TV, etc. Well, I don’t quite like going to my paternal relatives’ house to “Bai Nian”. I prefer my maternal side because I am closer to them. But now, I just wish anyone of them is here. I promise next year, I would eat double the food and be doubly happy going to Bai Nian, be it paternal or maternal side.
Back in the office, although my heart wasn’t at work, I still managed to solve the bug to my code. And then I chatted a lot on MSN with friends. XF was especially nice as she spoke to me again today. And normally, at this time of the day (Singapore time would be at night after reunion dinner), people would not be online. And I have got news from another friend that he got a gf but I was supposed to keep that a secret so I won’t disclose too much detail here. Many people told me that when I returned to Singapore, I would be an improved and better person because of all the experiences I am having now. I thought so too but I wondered would anyone notice the difference? I don’t really think anyone would understand my feeling of walking on the street alone in a foreign country, except for those who had gone through it themselves. And I don’t think my friends would know how it feels to be confined in a tiny room with no internet connection. Maybe by experiencing what normal people couldn’t experience would make me special.
At around 430pm, I really couldn’t take it anymore and said “au revoir” to Jeremy and left the office. The more I chatted with my friends online, the more I missed them. So I went back to hostel and called home at 5pm (Singapore time 12 midnight). As the Singtel operator was connecting the line, a sentimental song would be played in the background. Dad picked up the phone and I wished him a Happy New Year. We spoke a bit, mainly about my work here. Then mum took over and I wished her too. It was really good to hear CNY songs in the background through the phone. She saw those pictures that I put online and said that my room was really small. I remembered her saying to me before I come to France that she dislikes the idea of me missing CNY. Especially when this year is the Year of the Rooster, which is my year. I joked and said that France’s mascot is the cockerel so quite the same. Not funny, I thought now. Anyway, I told her I would go into town later at night to see if there is anything going on. She didn’t like the idea because she thought it was unsafe. I told her not to worry as this is the safest city in France.
At around 7pm, I took the bus into the city centre. Before I left, I marked on my map a place of interest I would visit later just in case there weren’t any celebrations. My guess was there won’t be any as Rennes is unlike Paris, where there are Chinese strongholds in certain part of the city. When I reached there, sure enough there weren’t any events. Moreover, there weren’t many people. I just walked around the place and the more I walked, the sadder I felt. Most shops were closed by then. People were scarce. Streets were dimly lit. It was almost dark at certain part of the city centre. And in some alleys, where there were just a few people, I could hear echoes as they spoke. I thought of finding some Chinese restaurants but they were closed. Of course they are. I didn’t go to that place of interest which I marked out because it was really hard to find my way in the dark. Soon, my legs were tired, my eyes were tired, and so was my heart. I quickly made my way back to the bus stop before loneliness devoured my soul. I boarded the bus and it was 8pm. I was only out for an hour. If the city centre of Rennes was quiet in the day, it was deserted at night. My brother said my city looked dead. XF said it looked peaceful. I said it looked peacefully dead.
Back in my room, I lied on my bed for quite awhile trying to settle down my sentiments. I told myself in the mirror that I thought we had gone through this before. No more self-depression ever since I almost broke down on Day 3. So I played some music and did some exercises. Now I am feeling much better and tomorrow would be even better and so would be the days after that. Yes definitely it would be better. Even now the weather is getting better. 12 degrees today which is a record high. And no clouds and rain and wind. Just the sun. Yes when I see the sun tomorrow again, I would be happy again.
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